I don't know about you, but I sure like to stick my head in the sand. If I start feeling worse - because some new problem shows up - I try and push through it. Rather than slow down to adjust for my new symptom or issue, I plow ahead and live my normal life. And feel worse every day that goes by.
Maybe I do this because of denial - I don't want to admit that I'm feeling worse. And I sure don't want to restrict my activities because I'm feeling worse. (That sounds like giving up and giving in.) It could also be that I've put too much faith in the power of positive thinking. If we think a problem is solvable or temporary, we stand a better chance of overcoming it.
But this denial/ignoring/hoping it gets better someday soon can limit your ability to enjoy life to the fullest right now. There is a certain kind of freedom and relief to accepting the reality that you are sicker than you used to be. I've felt horrible since late September, and powered my way through the holidays, fervently hoping that it would all be over soon and my doctors would figure out how to make me feel better again. Ha, ha. The wheels of medicine grind extremely slowly sometimes. So around new year's, I said OK, this is crazy, something has to give. I have to make adjustments.
I stopped the 90-minute exercise class that was making me feel awful every Thursday afternoon, and I stopped my volunteer work. And it has been such a relief. I can now usually make it through my work week OK, rather than feeling completely drained by Wednesday afternoon. And I am spending what was my volunteer time resting at home. With less physical strain comes less emotional strain - I know I can meet my commitments now, and I'm not constantly dreading having to call in sick for my volunteer time. Exercise makes my symptoms worse, so skipping my tai chi class has been a good thing indeed.
Adopting this new "let's deal with how I'm feeling now" mindset has helped my sex life, too. My husband and I were both kind of waiting around for me to feel better rather than figuring out how to have sex in a way that embraces my current limitations (muscle pain and fatigue). We had settled into this uneasy stalemate where no one tried to seduce the other person. We just hoped the fun and fabulous sex we used to have (in the days "before" the muscle pain) would magically reappear someday. Well, that is no way to live. By accepting the idea that yes, I might always feel this lousy, we have started a new period of experimentation. It's a little awkward, but it has turned out to be a lot of fun. Our sex life is probably the best it's been since we were horny 20 somethings! With an emotional connection that can only come from working together to solve a major problem.
Accepting what is happening now in your life is not easy... I am very sad to think that my life is getting a little smaller again because I feel so sick most of the time. Accepting now means grieving over the loss of how you used to be. It's depressing, too - no one wants to be sick, tired, etc. for the rest of their lives... being this way forever feels like a prison sentence.
But I have to remind myself - this might get better when I least expect it. And then, I can make my life larger again.
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