On March 31, 2009, Oprah interviewed Michael J. Fox about his personal battle with Parkinson's disease. It was a terrific interview because he talked about health and illness and grieving and changing your life to what is. All in a very real but very moving way. He is wry, determined, fighting, and yet somehow at peace. And he said he is more now with Parkinson's than he ever was before it.
He explained that Parkinson's made his life change for the better.... he now appreciates every day, and drops anything for his children at any time because he knows family is the most valuable thing in his life.
He also talked about acceptance in a moving way. I have often realized, thanks to my health concerns, that life is about making the most of what you have (what remains) rather than pining for a time, a place, a family, and a body that lie in a distant past. And loss is inevitable... for anyone, not just someone who is ill. We are all at some point in our lives going to lose our looks, our "healthy" status, our ability to run and jump or hold small things or tilt our heads up to the sky. We are going to lose people we love, pets we love, jobs and homes that we love. We will find ourselves at times with few friends to lean on and little (if any) money in the bank.
In the face of this transience, of not possessing the things and people in our lives forever... you can choose to cope in one of two obvious ways. You can resign in despair, steeled against a depressing stream of coming grief and loss, or you can choose to feel the freedom of living in the now. You can hide in bed, or see the beauty and peace in what you have today, the things that are all around you. Things you might take for granted as a healthier person who is occupied with career, achievement, acquisition, and the daily grind.
Life throws all kinds of challenges at us that force us to re-envision ourselves to fit what we have in our hands to work with at the time. It's devastating sometimes, but it does give us a chance to practice just being ourselves and doing the best we can with what we have. Life is about making the most of whatever remains in our lives, be it energy, intelligence, money or love.
As the "other", the lover of one who was dealing with disability/health issues I found "To love what is' http://www.amazon.com/Love-What-Marriage-Transformed/dp/0374278156 very helpful
Posted by: Pat | April 12, 2009 at 11:21 PM