Time flies when you are working hard. I am surprised that I have been back at work for just over one year now - and they still want me to be there! When I went back to work, I wasn't sure my body was ever going to be able to handle any kind of work routine ever again. I thought there was at least a 25% chance that after a few weeks or months, I would realize the whole work thing just wasn't going to be possible.
Now that I've been at it for a year, how's it going? What lessons has my return to work continued to teach me?
1. You will continue to see improvements in your physical strength and mental stamina. My body has very quietly continued to improve - more muscle tone, less pain, more mental focus. These steady, subtle changes add up over time... I am doing so much better than I was 12 months ago. I'm not sure when my body will finally be "done" (I am 2.5 years post-surgery now), but until then, I am very grateful for every little drop of improvement.
2. You need to feed your mind and body to stay on the right path. I have a tendency to stop exercising when my life gets busy. And I'm one of those people whose mind stays revved long after the workday is over. I also skimp on cooking time, returning to eating easier and more processed alternatives (premade garlic bread, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, tortellini...). I've learned the hard way (when I arrive home, crash-on-the-couch tired) that I must exercise to some degree at least once every two to three days. It helps clear and calm my mind, improves my sleep, and ensures that my neck continues to get well (strong muscles help hold my neck up for me... I can't let them melt away from neglect). I also have to re-commit to healthier snacking (green pepper strips instead of Pringles) and eating, even if it means I spend a few hours during the weekend pre-chopping ingredients for use in meals and snacks throughout the week. I also have to make sure that my nonwork time includes activities that are restorative rather than purely rest. I feel mentally clearer and have more energy after tai chi or a short swim, a walk with my dog, or a half-hour spent in the kitchen. These activities take more energy than laying on the couch (which I do my fair share of anyway), but they give me energy back, too.
3. You need to address any new health problems that might creep up - don't develop tunnel vision around your major medical issue. I am developing osteoarthritis in my hands, my knees are killing me (probably because I can't reach down to pick things up any longer... I have to squat down), and I am battling brain fog and fatigue on an ongoing basis. Take the time to get new issues checked out and dealt with... before one of them gets the upper hand and prevents you from working.
4. Recognize how much hard work it takes to even arrive at work each day. Do you remember those t-shirts from college that said things like "chemical engineering students get more done before 9 am than other students get done all week"? Make yourself a mental t-shirt to wear that affirms how hard you are working... "return-to-work employees have overcome more hurdles by the time they arrive at work each morning than healthy people overcome all week." Just getting to your office takes tremendous effort and dedication. You are the only one who knows that, so be sure to pat yourself on the back.
5. At work, expect to not see the beginning or end of things. I often get asked work on pieces of larger projects - I'm not often there when a project kicks off, and I'm almost never there when a project is finished and we send it to our client. Trust that your teammates are giving you enough context about an assignment to help you do it effectively (press for more information if you think they are not), and that they will apply the finishing touches and deliver the final product. It's unnerving to work in this "every day is a surprise," and "hey, whatever happened with that project?" kind of mindset, but you do get used to it over time.
6. When you start to really, truly yearn for more in your life (at work and at home), that's the sign that it's time to go ahead and go for it - to increase your work hours and/or add some commitments in your life outside of work. This can't be a yearning drawn from self-pity (I want to do more at work because I feel so left out!) or from external expectations (my mother-in-law thinks I need to do more for the commmunity/my house/my family). It has to be a genuine dissatisfaction with the content of your life, paired with the sense that you have what it takes (energy, etc.) to get more out of your life. I have recently increased my work hours from 12 hours per week to 15 hours per week (it's a HUGE deal to me, but not to much of anyone else!), and also began a new volunteer activity visiting senior centers and other group homes with my dog. I picked the volunteer activity with reality in mind - I can volunteer at a senior center down the street, and the organization only expects 1 hour of volunteering per month (as a minimum).
7. If you are considering an increase in work hours, but aren't 100% sure you are up for it, try adding hours for a week or two (or four) to see how it goes before committing to the schedule for real. I recently did this... I worked 15 hours per week for about three weeks without officially telling my boss I was doing it (my boss has made it clear he would be happy for me to work as many hours per week as I can handle, assuming there's work for me to do). Once I started to get the hang of the new schedule (consistently getting to work at the right time, understanding how to dial down what I do on my days off so I can recuperate, etc.), I officially notified my boss that I would be working this 15-hour schedule from now on.
8. Keep up with reporting income to SSDI and any private long-term disability plan you may have. I now make enough money that (1) SSDI is about to stop sending me SSDI money, and (2) my private long-term disability plan is reducing monthly payments to me. In this environment, where everyone is watching how much I make in a given week to figure out what (if anything) they need to continue to pay me, I CAN'T GET BENEFIT PAYMENTS until I fax in my biweekly pay stubs! Yikes.
9. Think about your career as a marathon, not a sprint. You will have more responsibilities and more conventionally-accepted forms of success at work... eventually. You will be a boss again, win awards again, lead projects again, etc. Just work on getting there... gradually. Don't take on so much that you burn out, or put yourself under massive pressure to be your old self at work. That old self is no more... pieces of that person come with you to work every day, but you are bringing new experiences and interests to the table, too. Work at a pace that you think you can sustain for the next 30 years! Be the proverbial tortoise.
10. Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate, and keep fighting the good fight. You can do it! I know it, you know it, but other people may not appreciate what a success you are in going back to work (and staying back at work) after medical leave. Dance a little. Be happy about it. You have, as my family likes to say "done real good."
